ICE AGE: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS; MOON; THE SIGN OF LEO/THE GIRL AT THE MONCEAU BAKERY; PUBLIC ENEMIES; FOOD, INC.; AND GOD CREATED WOMAN; BRÜNO; TEOREMA; HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE; BLOOD THE LAST VAMPIRE; 500 DAYS OF SUMMER; PARIS NOUS APPARTIENT; FUNNY PEOPLE; I KNEW HER WELL; MADE IN U.S.A.; G. I. JOE: RISE OF THE COBRA; THIRST; LES GODELUREAUX; PONYO; LA COLLECTIONNEUSE; BANDSLAM; ADIEU PHILIPPINE; DISTRICT 9; INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS; 9; LIKE YOU KNOW IT ALL; SHAMELESS; IF I KNEW WHAT YOU SAID; NYMPH; THE TROTSKY; SUCK; MALL GIRLS; AIR DOLL; CASTAWAY ON THE MOON; BUNNY AND THE BULL; MY DOG TULIP; CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS; SYMBOL; A TOWN CALLED PANIC; THE INFORMANT!; JENNIFER'S BODY; SPIKE & MIKE'S SICK & TWISTED ANIMATION 2009; A HARD DAY'S NIGHT; BRIGHT STAR

ICE AGE: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

I saw Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, which is about what you expect. The bits with Sid, and with Scrat are the best parts, while Ray Romano and Queen Latifah deaden whenever they're on screen. It's not that you can't make an elephant exciting (see Horton Hears A Who). The Scrat-Scratte bits could be cut into a good short on its own. The ankylosaur was ridiculously oversized, and they were plant-eaters.

"It's a boy!" "That's a tail." "It's a girl!"

MOON

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

The movie i saw was Moon, starring Sam Rockwell, who was amazing. He stars as an astronaut about to finish his 3 year contract as the only worker at an energy mine on the moon (supplying 70% of the world's energy, in an essentially utopian future). His only company is Gerty, the Hal-like computer companion (Kevin Spacey), and messages from his wife and child (the direct satellite being down). Then he starts seeing other people... It's a kind of thriller, but more cerebral (no alien monsters), and very good.

THE SIGN OF LEO/THE GIRL AT THE MONCEAU BAKERY

Monday, July 6th, 2009

On Monday, ai went into the city to see a movie at the Cinematheque. The movie i saw was The Sign of Leo (Le Signe Du Lion), by Eric Rohmer. A 40-year-old American living in Paris, sponging off his friends and acquaintances, finds out a rich aunt has died, throws a party for all his friends (borrowed money). But it turns out his aunt has disinherited him, so he ends up losing his apartment. All his friends are now away for the summer, and he descends into hard times. The wandering around Paris lasts quite a while - it's not a fast paced film, but it's not so grim as it sounds, although it make some good points about how we ignore street people, not knowing how they got there.

Accompanying the feature was a short (22 minutes) by Rohmer, The Girl At The Monceau Bakery (La Boulangère De Monceau, more literally, The Bakery-Girl of Monceau). It's about a man trying to pick up a young woman he sees near his university quite often - he looks for her in his neighbourhood during his lunch break, trying to seem casual, and ends up going to a bakery every day for a quick bite, and starts another flirtation. It's pretty funny, as we get to hear his internal monologue, shy, pompous, calculating and slightly delusional all at the same time (that's love for you, especially the French variety).

Sylvie

Jacqueline.

PUBLIC ENEMIES

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

I gave Public Enemies a chance, based on its generally good reviews.

"The Feds try to take down notorious American gangsters John Dillinger, Baby Face Nelson and Pretty Boy Floyd during a booming crime wave in the 1930s." The trailer sets it up as a showdown between Johnny Depp's Dillinger and Christian Bale's FBI agent Melvin Purvis, with Marion Cotillard as Dillinger's girlfriend Billie Frechette caught in-between. But Melvin Purvis hardly has a personality (and his death may have been an accident), Bille Frechette is missing inlarge chunks of the movie, and it's mainly about Dillinger. If you're going to focus on Dillinger, i woud've called it something like Bye Bye Blackbird, not Public Enemies. I didn't really enjoy it a lot - we didn't see any of his early life (no context), and it doesn't really show why he was a bigger than life celebrity (as much as i like Johnny Depp, i thought his character here was pretty flat).

Both Baby Face Nelson and Pretty Boy Floyd died after Dillinger, not before. I think the movie would've been more fun if it was a more general look at 30s gangsters "Public Enemy Era" culture. At least Billy Crudup got to do his 30s newsreel voice, ha ha. I'd say wait to rent it (or download).

I like baseball, movies, good clothes, whiskey, fast cars... and you. What else you need to know?

AND GOD CREATED WOMAN

Thursday, July 9th, 2009

And God Created Sex Kittens

The second movie i saw was Et Dieu... Créa La Femme, (And God Created Woman), by Roger Vadim, the one that made Brigitte Bardot famous.

She plays Juliette, a 'wild girl', or at least kind of a free spirit (often no shoes, or any clothes at all), and rather available (ahem), on the French Riviera. A wealthy, charming, older man is interested in her (although a bit too fathery, and not the dancing type she wants), but she wants his business rival, young Antoine (whose interests are very short term). When threatened with being sent back to her orphanage by her guardians, tired of her attitude, she ends up accepting a marriage proposal from Antoine's earnest younger brother Michel, who adores her, but is pretty blind to things. Adapting to her new life becomes difficult (not that she really does any work). Light weight, even in the 60s, and i HOPE we've evolved since then. At least we now have robots with our (technologically-enhanced) sex kittens.

"You are at the point of falling for her."
"What makes you say that?"
"Whenever you look at her, you appear less intelligent."

The trouble with in-laws: "What are you doing in my bed?"

BRÜNO

Friday, July 10th, 2009

Dolce & Gabbana - hello?!

Friday i saw Brüno. I was actually somewhat disappointed. I really enjoyed Borat, but just being gay and coming on to people, or having a fake Austrian accent, or continually referring to your anus as your 'Auschwitz', just isn't that funny. How many times can you wear a ridiculous costume in public and have people stair and still laugh?

I cringed through the first half hour. It did start getting better. There's a part where he's interviewing parents for a photo shoot, and he's asking them outrageous questions, whether their kids will drive dangerous equipment, lose weight, get liposuction - they would do anything. But most of it was just worth a chuckle.

"The baby is a dick magnet."

The velcro suit.

Hello?!

TEOREMA

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

I decided at the last minute to go into TO and see a movie at the Cinematheque, Pier Paolo Pasolini's Teorema (Theorem).

It begins with reporters asking a man why he is giving away his factory, and political questions, about whether it's the beginning of a revolution (it was made in 1968), is it the end of the bourgeoisie (upper middle class) and so on. Then we jump back, finding ourselves with an upper middle class family, and a young man who wanders into their lives. He reads Rimbaud (not 'Rambo', a French poet, famous for his degenerate ways). One by one, each member of the household desires to be seduced by him: the religiously devout housekeeper, the studious son, the detached mother, the naive daughter, and finally the father. Then, the young man is mysteriously called away, but not before each of them has told the young man how he has transformed them, and they don't know how they can go on without him.

The son becomes an artist, seeking new methods of creating, ones that have never been done before (i'm not sure if throwing cans of paint and urinating on canvases was new even in 1968). The daughter runs around measuring things, and then becomes catatonic and hospitalized. The mother now has unquenchable passion (though she does her best with a string of young men). The maid goes to her home village, eats only nettles, and sits on a bench. She heals children, and then floats above the buildings, and finally buries herself, not to die to be transformed. Then the father, after ogling another young man and giving away his factory, strips naked and walks into a desolate landscape.

The director was arrested for obscenity, but there's hardly any nudity (tighty-whities, (very briefly) girl's bare chest), and much of the sex is actually alluded to. There's the religious aspect - aside from the miracles, the young man comes across as a Christ-like figure. It's an odd film - less than 1000 spoken words, not much in the way of explanation, or even story. The family doesn't seem particularly repressed, although maybe that's the point - we are all so rarely in touch with our true selves, that we don't know we are repressing until we are liberated. Perhaps the 'theorem' is that 'liberation' (the director was a 60s style Marxist) is less about class than personal revelation. At the same time, it's pretty funny, as their attractions and reactions are so over-the-top ridiculous.

You know you want him, because he's The (younger) Most Interesting Man In The World....

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

On Wednesday the 15th, i saw Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I thought this was one of the more enjoyable of the series, with no big plot holes (although they didn't explain why the potions book was such a threat). I actually find the school and adolescent side, the interactions among the cast, more fun than the over-all Voldemort plot. So much has been cut out of the movies i wonder if the last one(s) will make sense. I've seen it a few times since, as well, lol.

I thought he was excellent as Slughorn.

"She's smart... funny... attractive..."
"Attractive?"
"Well you know... she has nice... skin"

"Oh, to be young and to feel love's keen sting."

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

I went to see Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince in 3D IMAX, which was pretty lame. Only the first chunk was in 3D - not like a climactic battle or anything. And a bit of the movie looked a little fuzzy. Also, i think they Scotiabank's IMAX bulbs need replacing, because it was too dark.

BLOOD THE LAST VAMPIRE

Sunday, July 19th, 2009

The first movie i saw in New York was Blood The Last Vampire, a live-action remake of an anime. I rented the anime a long time ago, although it seemed to me like it was only half the story (and half as long as its 45 minutes running time) - i wasn't that impressed then, and i'm not that impressed now.

The English dialogue is pretty awkward (well, that's certainly like a lot of anime), and there's really not much of a story. It's set in 1972, for no reason i can imagine (except perhaps to give the opportunity to have a lot of anachronistic military equipment around?). I think the movie is really built around the gimmick of having a 400-year-old sword-wielding teen half-vampire in a sailor uniform - in fact she even wears it before it is given to her when she becomes a student, and in fact, even though the school she's assigned to doesn't have uniforms. Not sure why she needed to enrol in the school. The question is, why did it take 400 years to have her final battle with the big bad demon? The monsters were pretty darn cheesy but the action shots were good.

Get a new mentor, this one sucks.

500 DAYS OF SUMMER

Monday, July 20th, 2009

The second movie i saw in New York was 500 Days of Summer, which is a kind of romantic comedy: "Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn't." Well, kind of. It was pretty funny. The style is offbeat, with a 3rd person narrator, a song and dance bit, bits of documentary style. The story jumps back and forth over 500 days in the relationship, between the good and the bad. The lead guy, played by the lead guy from Brick (yay at that movie) is looking for love and believes in fate, and is easily the more emotional of the two, the lead girl, played by Zooey Deschanel (purdy) doesn 't want a relationship and doesn't believe in love or fate. A really enjoyable movie, unpredictable. Maybe the end is a little pat, although it's kind of fun too. The gimmick about a little sister giving older brother relationship advice is straight from Gregory's Girl, though.

"Just because she's likes the same bizarro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate."

PARIS NOUS APPARTIENT

Sunday, July 27th, 2009

"Plays are pastimes for intellectuals."

Sunday i saw a movie at the Cinematheque, Paris Nous Appartient (Paris Belongs to Us). It's about a girl, Anne, a university student, who becomes involved with a group of intellectuals just after one of them, a Spanish man, has committed suicide. She gets involved with one of them, Gerard, as an actor in his attempt to stage Shakespeare's Pericles (apparently a difficult one to produce). She gets involved with another, Philip, an American who fled to Paris under mysterious circumstances, who believes Juan's death is suspicious, and Gerard is in danger too. Anne begins to search for the score Juan taped for the play, which also mysteriously went missing. Singularly unhelpful is femme fatale Terry, Gerard's girlfriend, previously both Juan's and Philip's girlfriend. Anne gets caught up in Philip's conspiracy theories, and whether it's true or not, just the belief in it could prove deadly.

It's good at creating a sense of paranoia and impending doom - this is the height of the Cold War, McCarthyism, the fascism in Franco's Spain, and still close enough to World War II, and these French intellectuals are a mix of actors, artists, anarchists, communists and capitalists. I enjoyed it, although i don't know about the acting. The black and white cinematography looked beautiful.

"A specimen of a vanishing race – rabid individualists who want everything to be destroyed – but who destroy themselves first – a sort of biological fatalism."

"One of those things where you work for art without getting paid."

"We'll watch some silent films, they’ll cheer you up!" (Fritz Lang’s Metropolis, ha ha).

"If you don’t call before midnight, I’ll kill myself."

"Am I going crazy, or is it the whole world?"

FUNNY PEOPLE

Sunday, August 2nd, 2009

I went to see Funny People, Judd Apatow's latest, featuring Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen. It's a comedy of sorts, but more dramatic and darker than you might expect for a movie about comedians - Adam Sandler's character is kind of a jerk, and has been diagnosed with cancer. He hires a beginning stand-up (Seth Rogen), still working in a deli to make living, to write jokes and be his personal assistant, and ends up being something of a hired friend and conscience. Jason Schwartzman and Jonah Hill (younger fatter version of Seth Rogen) play his more successful roommates, and Leslie Mann and Eric Bana play Adam Sandler's old girlfriend and her husband.

I really enjoyed it. I think Adam Sandler's work is much better when he's pushed into more dramatic roles. And with all those comedians, there are a ton of great lines. Interestingly, they used a lot of old video showing Adam Sandler when he was younger (including prank calls he and Apatow used to do), and a ton of cameos, from Ray Romano to Eminem.

Awkwaaaaard!

"Is your act just designed to make sure no girl will ever sleep with you?"

"Don't put me in this position where I have to fuck my way out of a corner!"
"He'll do it too. I've seen him."

I KNEW HER WELL

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

The movie i saw at the Cinematheque was I Knew Her Well (Io La Conoscevo Bene), by Antonio Pietrangeli (first time i've seen one of his). It's about a young woman who has moved from the country (very old country) to become a movie actress. She's pretty naive, but well-meaning (and very, very pretty). She gets scammed and abused and ignored by most people she meets - in fact, it seems what you need to to do to get ahead. Her first agent even ditches her at a hotel with the unpaid bill. There's a bit of a detour at a party of actors where an actor past his prime gets shafted by a star he helped make. It's a little slow, but good, and there are plenty of funny moments, even if things don't end well.

He asked you to phone his new girlfriend, so her parents won't know who's calling?

He just wrote about how vapid you are! Don't date a writer, your life is just fodder for their work.

MADE IN U.S.A.

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

Thursday it was off to the Cinematheque to see Made In U.S.A., one of the few remaining Jean-Luc Godard 1960s films i hadn't seen. It complains about modern culture, yet wallows in it - ostensibly a film noir thriller, it's drenched in primary pop colours, mod music and fashion. Then again, Godard isn't really interested a linear story, more about giving his characters opportunities to muse about politics and ideals, in an anarchic and non-sensical style. So, there are guns and shootings, bright colours, Atlantic City set in France, communist ideology, mobsters named Richard Nixon and Robert McNamara, slapstick comedy, passages of dialogue purposefully obscured by street noise and Marianne Faithfull singing As Tears Go By in a bar. Kind of a film version of abstract art. Fun!

"You can fool the movie audience, but not me."

"We were in a political movie. . . . Walt Disney with blood." (Yes, the comic book art was in the movie.)

"I think it had to do with revenge. But this whole business of yours is not very clear."

"I think it had to do with revenge. But this whole business of yours is not very clear." (That's quite the accident - and why is the corpse in a dental chair?)

"I think advertising is a form of fascism." (But it looks like a Mondrian or Rothko painting behind you.)

G. I. JOE: RISE OF THE COBRA

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

An awful car crash you have to keep looking at. Oh the humanity!

After, i went down to Queen Street to meet Matt and Chris at the Horseshoe, but Chris was hungry, so we ended up at the Queen Mother's patio. Then we decided to walk over Yonge & Dundas to see the G I Joe: The Rise Of Cobra midnight opening. Okay, we weren't expecting a great movie. As Matt said, the bar was set so low, how could we be disappointed? How naive we were. Want to see ice sink? Flashbacks shot from another character's point of view? Enormous, technologically advanced headquarters easily invaded by a small number of operatives? There's a point where the President sees something, and says something like, "Oh my god, that's your real plan," and we never get back to it! Ha ha ha. It's difficult to imagine a more inane, stunningly awful excuse for a movie. It makes Transformers look really, really good.

"This isn't my war."
"We are so effin' lucky, Sam."

"Technically, this unit doesn't exist." You mean 'officially', because technically it does.
"...comprised of the best soldiers from across the world." "Real American heroes..." Uhhhh....

You'd have to be an unclean brain-dead retard to like this thing.

"Watching this movie made me feel dirty."

"Turn it off! Pull the plug!"

"This movie insultuated my intelligences."

Gobs and gobs of random bad special effects joined by chunks of cheesy dialogue cut out of the final drafts of the cartoons' scripts. If you want to see shit move, go to the zoo and watch monkeys fling their turds.

The walk back to my car was more fun. Ugh.

THIRST

Saturday, August 8th, 2009

The movie we saw was Thirst (Bakjwi), by the director of Old Boy. A devout priest gets a blood transfusion in a treatment for a disease, and inadvertently becomes a vampire, and one of the few people to survive his disease, and inadvertently becomes a kind of saint. On one of his blessings, he meets up with an old home town friend, and in meeting his family, becomes involved with the friend's self-mutilating wife.

There are three stories going on - the priest's struggles with his new appetites (both bloody and sexual), the wife's struggle against her suffocating family, and the relationship between the two.

It's a lurid, gruesome and funny movie, well worth seeing, although it goes on a bit too long - the last act could've been cut or cut out altogether.

Kang-woo is so happy!

The guy on the left is looking remarkable good for someone whose neck was snapped/folded backwards. Not a bruise, let alone dangling.

Ooo! Nice big screen!

Ooo! Delicious cake!

LES GODELUREAUX

Monday, August 10th, 2009

Monday, i caught a movie at the Cinematheque, Claude Chabrol's Les Godelureaux (The Wise Guys), a movie so obscure, IMDB doesn't have a single external review or user comment. It starts with a group of young men driving up to their favourite cafe, to find their usual parking spot taken. They and a bunch of others at the cafe gang together and lift the car onto the sidewalk, so they can park. When the car's owner, Ronald, returns, he's miffed and later vows (to his very gay housemate) to get revenge. Later, a pretty young woman, Ambroisine, walks by the gang in their car, and steals the driver's, Arthur, drink, and he begins his pursuit of her.

Somehow, the three of them hook up, and become a trio of destruction (at Ronald's encouragement) - Ronald sabotages his Aunt's charity event, gets Ambroisine to seduce his engaged cousin, all three throw smoke bombs at an art show opening, and so on. Ronald has a lot of money, while Arthur lives by begging money from his uncle. Eventually, Ronald gets his revenge, but it doesn't make him happy, Arthur gets his girl, but not the one he was after, and who knows what Ambroisine wanted.

It was interesting, and mildly funny - it was fun seeing both the wealthy upper and the pretentious art classes get their shots, but i imagine the 'orgy' scene was a lot wilder in 1961, and the gay stereotypes are ridiculous by today's standards.

Arthur and his pals (his car is ancient).

The 'scandalous' burlesque show at the charity event (i think now it would be applauded).

Ronald, Ambroisine and Arthur, at Ronald's house.

Ambroisine (her name comes from 'ambrosia', though i can't imagine why).

PONYO

Friday, August 14th, 2009

The movie i saw was Ponyo, (Gake no ue no Ponyo - "Ponyo On The Cliff"), the latest from Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli. A loose adaptation of The Little Mermaid story, it touches on his usual themes of ecology and child-like innocence. It's certainly less 'epic' (and less violent) than recent works, like Princess Mononoke, and more of a children's story, like My Neighbour Totoro. It's a cute and magical story.

Ponyo is a kind of goldfish princess (although she didn't look very goldfishy to me), and when she's rescued (trapped by trash in the sea) by a 5 year old boy, she wants to become one of them. She has magical powers, being the daughter of the goddess of the sea and a former human, she upsets the balance of nature. She has to choose between her two lives, giving up her magic and becoming human, and the boy has to prove he's worthy of her.

Miyazaki is old school, so it's all traditionally and beautifully animated, although it's rather bizarre. My only complaint is the mouth of the sea goddess. I don't think it's just a question of lipsyncing to Japanese instead of English - her lips seem to float on her face, almost as if her mouth was animated separately.

Ponyo meets Sosuke.

Ponyo's dad.

Ponyo and her sisters.

Sosuke and his mom.

They don't see Ponyo running on the waves.

Ponyo and Sosuke boat over prehistoric fishes swimming on the road.

Ponyo (human) and Sosuke.

LA COLLECTIONNEUSE

Friday, August 14th, 2009

I went into the city to see Eric Rohmer's La Collectionneuse (The [female] Collector). It's about three people who shared a villa in the south of France for the summer, friends of the absent owner. Two are friends with each other, Adrien (art collector) and Daniel (the artist) and long time friends of the owner, the third a girl he seems to have met recently, Haydée.

The first prologue consisted of the camera watching Haydée on the beach, and eyeing her up and down. The second prologue consists of Daniel and another character talking about philosophy, relating Daniel to a cup that has had razor blades glued on (to make it unuseable - he is pretty prickly). The third prologue consists of a woman describing to Adrien and Carole how much she can't stand ugly people, then Adrien and Carole talking, as she tries to convince him to go to London, and he tries to convince her to go to the south of France - they part in a snit.

The bulk of the movie is narrated by Adrien, as he tries to convince himself to enjoy his vacation, to be lazy, and to ignore Haydée. Adrien and Daniel are often downright nasty with her, annoyed partly with her mere presence, partly because they're both attracted to her, and partly because of her frank attitude towards sex (she spends most of her days sleeping, and nights leaving with various men), which is why they disdain her with the name 'collector' (ironic for an artist and art collector). Adrien describes the battle of the sexes in his mind (talk about self-defeat), as he believes she is trying to seduce them, and especially him. He both prusues her and pushes her away. We see no evidence she has any plans (though she can enjoy their company).

I really enjoyed it, it was funny (wry humour), though slow-paced.

"She usually came home at dawn, when I was getting up. The boy wasn't always the one who'd come to pick her up."

Daniel and Adrien, as they snear at her.

Yeah, i'd totally fall for her.

Daniel and Haydée have some fun.

BANDSLAM

Sunday, August 16th, 2009

Sunday evening i saw the movie Bandslam. The reviews have been good, but if i'd known Vanessa Hudgens was in it, i probably wouldn't have seen it. It's about a nerdy kid who moves to a new town, hooks up with what passes for underdogs, and helps assemble a rock band for a contest. It had an interesting twist, separating the 'girl' into two characters, the band singer and the girlfriend, though Vanessa Hudgens as an outcast is ridiculous.

Overall, it wasn't too bad, but to show what's wrong with it, i'll mention this: they spend a lot of time to establish the boy's punk/indie fan cred, even breaking into CBGB's as his 'favourite place in the world', but the music that come out of their band are bland Disney-style (or in this case Walden Media) pop songs. Gawd, David Bowie was slumming!

"Hi, I'm Charlotte. Nice to meet you."
"I've known you since 5th grade."
(In real life, would they even talk to him?)

The band (minus one of the two girls on the right, at any one time)
"I think if you tried signaling, people would honk less."
"They don't need to know my business."

ADIEU PHILIPPINE

Monday, August 17th, 2009

Monday i saw Jacques Rozier's (never heard of him) Adieu Philippine. Michel is a young man who works as a television camera trainee. He meets and tries to seduce, Liliane and Juliette, best friends and aspiring but not very good actresses. The three end up sharing a holiday/roadtrip in Corsica.

There's not a lot of story, and their fun is undercut by Michel 's impending draft into the army, probably to fight in Algeria, but it's still a sweet movie, as they play games with each other, deal with an unscrupulous director and Michel's family and friends.

Their first 'date'.

The camera follows the girls as they walk, giggle and promise not to get serious about Michel.

I think i'm in love.

DISTRICT 9

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

I went to see District 9. It was really good, although a little ham-fisted - the guy in charge played up the in-over-his-head too much, the military was hammily evil, and so on.

"We're from Direct Energy...."

"All the shacks in District 9 were actual shacks that exists in a section of Johannesburg which were to be evacuated and the residents moved to better government housing, paralleling the events in the film. Also paralleling, the residents had not actually been moved out before filming began. The only shack that was created solely for filming was Christopher Johnson's shack."

"Albert Einstein's eyes." A 'prawn' (pr0n?).

It is set up for a sequel. Expect it in exactly three years.

I meant to make mention of the Nigerians. What was that about? Okay, criminal gang lords i get, but what's with the voodoo magic nonsense? That was verging on racism.

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

Friday, August 21st, 2009

I saw Inglourious Basterds, Quentin Tarantino's re-imagining of World War Two. I thought it was great. He tests us with some very long, almost painfully slow scenes, but we're rewarded with great dialogue, and a very cathartic ending. The name comes from an alternate name of some 70s B-movie, although the spelling is unique - i believe a character has written it on his rifle that way.

"We will be cruel to the Germans and through our cruelty they will know who we are... The German will be sickened by us, the German will talk about us, and the German will fear us."

Young Shoshana.

"Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to hear you say that. Quite frankly, watching Donny beat Nazis to death is the closest we ever get to going to the movies. Donny!"
"Yeah?"
"Got us a German here wants to die for country. Oblige him."

Older Shoshana.

A great villain.

9

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

9 was a big disappointment. Beautiful to look at, interesting concepts, but the story made no sense.

SPOILERS:

The big threat they've been facing all this time, since whatever ended the war, was a robotic cat, but it was rather easily dispatched by a single doll. One doll was said to be 'too old', but weren't they all created around the same time - except, bizarrely 9, who seems to have become conscious much later than the others.

There's a 'magical' talisman that can do the following: imbue the dolls with a portion of a person's soul, power a evil robot-making robot, suck the soul pieces from the dolls into the robot, destroy the evil robot-making robot, release the soul pieces, turning them into bacteria-laden rain. What was with the pentagonal shaped fire funeral? Was there a purpose to it (good luck that 5 of them died), or did they just think it would cool?

The dolls are supposed to carry on humanity's legacy. Then why were some of them (at least) released into the middle of a battlefield, rather than kept in the relative saftey of the laboratory? And what are they supposed to do? Found a new society? Although they're really no better than us, one ruling through brute force, sending another to his death, and 9 blundering his way with technology, causing the death of others. And what kind of society would 9 dolls make anyway? (I don't really see them reproducing.) Or were they all supposed to have reseeded the world?

It was really annoying, because it's set up as if it has a story, but none of it makes sense. Tim Burton is so disappointing (at least Corpse Bride had a plot). It makes you wish the Other Mother would come in show these people how to have some fun.

"Sometimes fear is the appropriate response."

"We had such potential, such promise." You sure did...

LIKE YOU KNOW IT ALL

Friday, September 11th, 2009

The first movie of the 2009 TIFF i saw was Like You Know It All (or You Don't Even Know, and Jal Aljido Mothamyeonseo), from South Korea. It's a very slow drama, although quite funny in parts, and rather self-referential, being about a filmmaker whose been invited to judge at a film festival, and later lecture at a film school. The irony is that while everyone is looking to him for answers, he's very insecure. Also, he's very mild-mannered, yet he seems to antagonize a lot of people.

He gets told off by the festival director.

He is a bit weird.

Turns out his girlfriend from college is married to his former professor.

SHAMELESS

Friday, September 11th, 2009

The next movie was Shameless (Nestyda), a Czech film. A woman kicks her husband out after she discovers he's having an affair with the au pair girl, and we follow both of their lives. She's upset at the break-up, works as a radio talk show host, and raises the son, and meets a man who is very similar to her.

The man is pretty easy-going about everything (and unashamed of his own behaviour), loses his job as a TV weatherman, and makes money driving people home from bars at night (he uses their car, putting his little scooter in their trunk). His affair with the au pair continues, although after listening to her rant about eating meat at a restaurant, a woman, a famous singer, comments to him when the au air goes to the washroom, "Is it worth listening to that for two hours for ten minutes of..." He says it is.

He meets the singer later, and they become a couple, even though she is 25 years older than him. Later, when waiting to give someone a ride from a sex club, he meets a former student, from when he was a teacher 15 years earlier.

Very funny!

He becomes bothered by his wife's big nose.

Which is why he seeps with the au pair (it's her turtle).

The wife's new boyfriend helps rescue the son from a tube slide.

The singer invites him to sing a duet on stage.

A flashback to his days as a teacher (amazingly, there is no suggestion he tried anything with them).

He and his former student.

IF I KNEW WHAT YOU SAID

Friday, September 11th, 2009

The last movie for the day was If I Knew What You Said (Dinig Sana Kita), a Philippine movie about a troubled high school girl - she has anger issues and so does her wealthy dad. She plays in a rock band to get out some of the anger, but she actually gets into fights instead. To avoid expulsion, she's sent to spend some time at a camp with a mixed group of hearing and deaf teens. She has trouble adjusting and goes back home, but has become friends (and more?) with a boy who is part of a deaf dance troupe.

In some ways, the story is predictable, but it was very well done. I liked the angle between her family's wealth and the dire poverty of many of the deaf children (the biy had been abandoned, presumably when they realized he was deaf). It was interesting how much they switched back and forth between English and Tagalog.

NYMPH

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

On Saturday morning, i saw the Thai film Nymph (Nang Mai). It's almost a horror story, slow, but creepy. It starts with a woman being raped in a Thai jungle, then we're floating above the jungle, slowly moving along, until we see two corpses lying on the ground (presumably the rapists). Then a young couple (May and Nop) whose marriage is breaking down begins a camping trip in the jungle (he is a photographer), and one of them goes missing. Very interesting, it reminded me of real fairy tales, in which hapless men get trapped by beautiful spirits (rather than the prince and princess folk tales).

Nop

May

THE TROTSKY

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

This is a shot of Richmond approaching Parliament Street. Before each movie, there have been archival clips featuring Toronto (VE Day in the streets, Yorkville hippies), and there was a clip of classic 1970 movie Goin' Down The Road, and in the clip they are taking this very recognizable route.

The first movie i saw was The Trotsky, an English-language Canadian movie, starring Jay Baruchel, as a 17 year old Leon Bronstein who believes he is the reincarnation of Leon Trotsky (real name, Leon Bronstein), despite living in Montreal. He is searching for his friend Lenin, his enemy Stalin, and future wife Alexandra (9 years his senior), and it becomes something of a love story. His father gives him a job at his factory, and he promptly begins to organize a union. His father responds by taking him out of private school ("silver spoon socialist"), but he then begins to organize the students. Leon is a little deluded, but the movie makes the point that radicals are often the agents for change in the face of apathy. It sounds very political, but actually it's just very very funny. It has some great performances by Saul Rubinek, Geneviève Bujold and Colme Feore, among others. Jessica Paré is in there somewhere, but i don't remember her.

SUCK

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

The next movie i saw was also an English-language Canadian movie, Suck, about a crappy rock and roll band which suddenly becomes better when vampires get involved. It's a very funny movie, with a bit of a cheesy skitcom feel to it. It stars teh director as the leader of the band, Jessica Paré as the female bassist (and his ex) who becomes the centre of attention once she's bitten, Malcolm McDowell as a pretty ineffective VanHelsing, and a ton of other cameos, including Henry Rollins as an a-hole DJ, Moby as the lead singer of Secretaries of Steak, a hardcore Buffalo band, Dave Foley as the band's weasely manager, Nicole de Boer (Ezri Dax) as another ex-GF, Iggy Pop as a producer, Alice Cooper as a bartender, Carole Pope as a bouncer, and Alex Lifeson as... i forget, but he was in there, ha ha.

Some of the actors, before the movie began, the sadly-married Jessica Paré centre-left, Carole Pope centre-right.

"It's not what it looks like!" It actually looks pre-post, lol.

MALL GIRLS

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

The movie i saw was Mall Girls (Galerianki), a Polish movie about high school girls, centred on Ala, a lonely girl who becomes part of a clique of skanky girls who hang around malls and perform sexual favours for money, cellphones, jewellery, etc. She's torn between her new friends and status, and the nerdy kid who likes her. It's like a Polish Thirteen, but grittier - all of the girls have rough home lives (some parents are abusive, others sleep around on their spouses). It's not exactly ground-breaking, but it's well done, and does have some humour.

AIR DOLL

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

The last movie was called Air Doll (Kûki Ningyô). It's about an 'air doll' (a blow-up doll, with a more realistic face), who is cared for by the man who bought her - he talks to her, dresses her, and essentially treats her like a real girlfriend. But she, for reasons unknown, develops a soul. When he leaves for work, she comes alive, learns to walk, and leaves the apartment, meets people, even gets a job and begins a relationship. I was expecting a farcical comedy (and there was humour), but what i got was a thoughtful drama on loneliness, aging, and the need to belong.

The director is centre-right, and one of the actors (Jô Odagiri, looking a little Elegant Gothic), more of a bit part.

CASTAWAY ON THE MOON

Friday, September 18th, 2009

Okay, Friday was another burst of movies. The first movie was up at the Cumberland. I don't like that cinema so much, because it's not stadium style seating (so old-fashioned!).

The first movie was Castaway On The Moon (Kim Ssi Pyo Ryu Gi), a Korean movie about a young businessman who finds himself in overwhelming debt, and attempts to commit suicide by throwing himself over a bridge (it helps that he can't swim). Instead he finds himself stranded on an island in the Han River. Though surrounded by the city (Seoul), he is unable to get anyone's attention (even his messages for HELP on the beach are ignored), and his cellphone dies. He is forced to begin foraging for himself - he even learns how to start fires and farm. Then we meet a young Korean woman, who has not left her room in years - her mother provides her with what she needs, and she sneaks out of her room when her parents are away. She has a scar on her face, which has lead her to spend most of her time online creating attractive avatars for herself. Her other hobby is photography, taking pictures of attractive passersby (for avatars), and the moon. She happens to catch the man's beach message (she believes he is an alien), and (sneaking out of her apartment at night to throw bottles onto the island) they begin to exchange messages, over a period of months.

What started off as a farcical comedy about a couple of losers becomes a sensitive movie about isolation and the yearning for contact and meaning. One of the best movies from the Festival.

BUNNY AND THE BULL

Friday, September 18th, 2009

I had just enough time to run out of the theatre, get on the subway and get down to the Scotiabank for the next movie, Bunny & the Bull, an English road movie, if it could be called that. The trip actually takes place on one of the character's memories, a fuss-budget, loner and shut-in. His best pal, a boozy sex-obsessed impulsive bloke named Bunny, forces him on the road trip, to have some fun, and to get Stephen laid. On the way they pick up a Spanish girl working at the Polish franchise of a crappy chain restaurant (Captain Crab, looking suspiciously like the Crabby Patty), and drive her back home to Spain.

This is anything but a conventional movie - it's apparent some tragedy has taken place, but the trip is a riot of ridiculous overblown farce (like when they are kidnapped by a Russian who drinks milk straight from a dog's teats). Also, it's not a straight forward love action movie - it's half animated, mainly stop motion, using whatever is at hand (much of it in Stephen's apartment), including paper drawings, clay models, cardboard boxes, random gears. It's a cross between Michel Gondry and Terry Gilliam.

Stephen and Bunny.

Eloisa: "Are you facking my face?"

The Russian and his dog (the bear is stolen).

MY DOG TULIP

Friday, September 18th, 2009

"Human beings are prudes and bores; You smell my ass, i'll smell yours."

The final TIFF movie for the day was My Dog Tulip, an animated movie from England. It's an adaptation of a book about a man's love for his dog. He's an older and lonely gentleman, someone who doesn't much like other people, when he ends up rescuing a troublesome Alsatian. It's a very funny and sweet story - a good chunk of the movie is devoted to getting Tulip mated, ha ha. I liked the sketchy style - apparently it's the first feature which is drawn in a classical way, but done digitally (i would guess each frame was drawn and painted in Photoshop).

Tulip is excitable.

The neighbours don't appreciate Tulip.

Tulip doesn't like vets.

We don't know what the deceased thought of Tulip.

CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS

Friday, September 18th, 2009

The final movie of the night, since i didn't want to embrace the evening traffic jam, was a Hollywood movie, appropriately accompanied by popcorn. It was Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, the latest 3D animation (and i saw it projected in 3D) from Sony (makers of Open Season and Surf's Up). None of their work really compares to Pixar's, but they are a cut above average. If you've seen the trailer, you pretty much know the story, but it is very well-done. I think the character designs are attractive, and most importantly, it's pretty damn funny. If you can't push the art form, just keeps the gags per minute up high and i'll be happy. I liked the comment about disasters hitting famous landmarks first, lol. And yes, no lame pop references!

"You may have seen a meteor shower, but you've never seen a shower meatier than this."

SYMBOL

Saturday, September 19th, 2009

Saturday was the final day of the Festival, and had the one movie i wanted to see but wasn't able to order a ticket beforehand for. Sadly, there was another i'd wanted to see (Kamui), but its time conflicted with another.

The first movie was Symbol (Shinboru - quite literally the English word 'symbol'), from the director of Dai-Nipponjin ('Big Japanese Man'), the mockumentary about a Japanese monster fighter past his prime (which i thought was painfully slow), which i saw at TIFF two years ago. Symbol is something else altogether.

The first two thirds or so of the movie has two storylines. One part is set in Mexico, as we follow a family whose father ("Escargot Man") is in a wrestling duo - compared to the others, he's somewhat out of shape and we can't imagine how he'll be able to compete.

The second part is about a Japanese man waking up alone in a white room with no doors or windows. No one responds to his shouting. As he explores the room, he notices a small phallic-looking bump on the wall. When i presses it, a bunch of giggling cupids/angels appear, and then fade away, leaving their little phalluses poking out of the walls and floor. He discovers, as he pokes each one, that each has a different consequence. One releases water, another releases sushi, another a toilet plunger - another a little cupid bum that farts on him. He eventually discovers one that opens a door (only to shut when he releases it) - he has set up a series of them (swinging from a rope, grabbing a plunger, showing a key) in an attempt to escape.

The programmer who introduced it called it this years's "What The F" film, and i would agree. It starts off very funny (the first part is called 'Education'), as we (and the Japanese man) try to figure out what is going on - why is he imprisoned, and what is the connection with the wrestler. What we're expecting is perhaps some take on The Prisoner, when it suddenly becomes bizarre ('Implementation'), and then goes all cosmic ('Future'). I think i understand what it's all about (it reminds of Neil Gaiman's Sandman), although you could also see it as being about unintended consequences and unknown connections.

It would be interesting to split the first part of the movie into its two halves and show them separately, and gauge people's reactions when they are put back together.

The crazy nun driving the wrestler to his bout.

WTF!

WARNING - SPOILER:

I think the man in the room actually becomes God - he is sent there to learn how to make things happen, and how to connect a complex series. Once done, his actions have real consequences (when pressing an angel causes actions in the real world). Later, he begins climbing and aging, when finally presented with the giant penis, which i suppose is the Big Cause of everything.

A TOWN CALLED PANIC

Saturday, September 19th, 2009

My final movie of the Festival was an animated one, stop motion, called A Town Called Panic(Panique au village - 'panic in the village'). I'd actually seen a short from the series, which is the adventures of Horse, Cowboy and Indian, plastic/plasticine toys, all of whom live together in the same house. Cowboy and Indian decide to build Horse (who is the smart one) a brick barbecue for his birthday, but accidentally order fifty million bricks, instead of just fifty.There's also a plotline about undersea people who steal walls, and a love interest for Horse. The best advice i could gather from this is to not store 49,999,950 bricks on your roof, hoping no one will notice.

Actually, there's no message here. It's just silly fun, as the animators keep pushing the characters into ever more ridiculous events. It's like watching little kids play with figures, if they were the children of Monty Python and Lewis Carroll.

Horse, Cowboy and Indian relax at home.

What to do when merpeople occupy your house? Fling cows at it.

Madame Longrée runs a music school.

They escape to... the Arctic?

Horse reminds Cowboy and Indian to stop playing tennis and get back to work.

THE INFORMANT!

Saturday, September 19th, 2009

I decided to stay and see a regular movie at the AMC. This time it was The Informant!, a comedy about a man who turns informant on price-fixing in the company he works for, even going undercover for more than two years. The real story and how it panned out for the informant isn't funny, but here it is played for laughs, and is very good. We get to hear the man's internal monologue, and it's a fun portrait of a man who is both stupider and smarter than you think.

"0014, because I’m twice as smart as 007" (actually a quote from Gilligan's Island).

JENNIFER'S BODY

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

"I think it's important to reach out to our fans in the shitty areas, too."

Then - you know, i remember a time when hardly any new movies came out during the Toronto Film Festival - then i saw another movie, this time Jennifer's Body. It's gotten mixed or average reviews, but i was pretty disappointed. The first hour really dragged, and overall the whole thing was a mess of direction. Characters kept veering between over-the-top and more natural behaviour, you were never sure what tone it was trying to strike. How do you go to science class with your friend when the night before you saw her drenched in blood and vomiting black fluid? Like, oh, it's back to normal? Some of the dialog was just plain bad. It could have been much better. And not nearly enough sex for it to be described as a sexy thriller (or tension, for that matter).

Nerdy girl? Know why? Glasses.

"Oh, hey, i know people are on fire behind me, but i'm gonna go with these guys."

"Hey, can i borrow your chem homework?" (Aren't you like 23?)

.
"I will finish you if I have to."
"Ok, you can barely finish gym class." (She's obviously out of shape.)

SPIKE & MIKE'S SICK & TWISTED ANIMATION 2009

Friday, September 25th, 2009

The movie i saw was Spike & Mike's Sick & Twisted Animation 2009. I was actually disappointed. The crowd was loving it though, although it seemed to be one of those crowds who laughed at things more and harder, because they think they should. I think they were probably high. There was one that was just a lame martial arts fight between a cow and a sheep, badly animated, and just not that funny. When the most polished piece is a decade-old music video (Ghost of Stephen Foster), then i think there's a problem. That being said, there were still some good pieces.

Fantaisie in Bubblewrap - a kind of horror story.

Katten Mons - a Norwegian one about a cat who is so hungry it keeps eating everything, including people and whole scenes. This is the kind of thing i think of when i think of animation festivals - visually interesting, offbeat, not just a gross gag.

Two Minute Itch - funny, but not actually finished (just drawn!).

Lapsus - funny and visually inventive!

The Ghost Of Stephen Foster, the video for the Squirrel Nut Zippers, from when swing was big in the late 90s.

La Revolution Des Crabes - crustaceans who wish they could move forwards and back, not just sideways, ha ha.

Furious Little Cinnamon Bun - just another one of those which really are non-sensical and violent stuff just happens, made funny by how it ends.

Washington - a funny animated rap about George Washington:

Washington, Washington
Six-foot-eight, weighs a fucking ton.
Opponents beware, opponents beware.
He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.

Let me lay it on the line, he had two on the vine.
I mean two sets of testicles, so divine.
On a horse made of crystal, he patrolled the land,
With a mason ring and schnauzer in his perfect hands.

Here comes George, in control.
Women dug his snuff and his gallant stroll.
Ate opponent's brains, and invented cocaine.
He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.

Washington, Washington.
Six-foot-twenty, fucking killing for fun.
Spread, spread, Delaware.
He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.

Sue me if I go too fast,
But the sons of his opponents wish he was their dad.
Got a wig for his wig, got a brain for his heart.
He'll kick you apart, he'll kick you apart!

Ooh!

He'll save children, but not the British children.
He'll save children, but not the British children.
He'll save children, but not the British children.
He'll save children, but not the British children.

Had a pocket full of horses, fucked the shit out of bears.
Threw a knife into Heaven, and could kill with a stare.
He made love like an eagle falling out of the sky.
Killed his sensei in a duel and never said why.

Washington, Washington.
Twelve stories high, made of radiation.
The present beware, the future beware,
He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.

Did I mention his four nuts?
Well he also had four dicks.
If you took off his boot you'd see the dicks growing off his feet.
I heard... that motherfucker... had like... thirty goddamn dicks.
He once held an opponent's wife's hand...in a jar of acid...at a party.

A HARD DAY'S NIGHT

Saturday, September 26th, 2009

Tonight i saw A Hard Day's Night, the Beatles' first film. I could've sworn i reviewed it before. Or, if i didn't, i should've, because i've seen it before. Maybe i didn't catch the whole thing on TV, and decided not to review it? Funny, though their delivery of their lines is pretty dry. Interesting look at the 60s - for all the hullaballoo about fame getting in their way, it still seems rather innocent compared to now.

"Are you a mod or a rocker?"
"Um, no. I'm a mocker."

BRIGHT STAR

Sunday, September 27th, 2009

I saw Jane Campion's movie Bright Star, which is the story of poet John Keats's three-year romance (before his death from tuberculosis at the age of 25, a sad but fitting end for a tragic Romantic poet) with Fanny Brawne, told from Fanny's point of view. It's a beautifully done movie, though i think it skips over a lot of detail, some negative (his extreme jealousy, his sensitivity about his height [5'], his other siblings, etc).

Bright star, would I were steadfast as thou art--
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors--
No--yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever--or else swoon to death.