YOUTH IN REVOLT; DAYBREAKERS; THE BOOK OF ELI; THE ROAD; SONGS FROM THE SECOND FLOOR; THE YES MEN FIX THE WORLD; MILLENNIUM MAMBO; PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS: THE LIGHTNING THIEF; I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP ALONE; DEFENDOR; THE WOLFMAN; OSCAR NOMINATED SHORTS FILMS 2010 - ANIMATED; ALICE IN WONDERLAND; GREEN ZONE; THE RUNAWAYS; HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON

YOUTH IN REVOLT

Friday, January 8th, 2010

The movie i saw was Youth In Revolt, Michael Cera's latest. It's about a high school loser who's into movies and jazz and who develops a second personality in order to win an outspoken girl who's into French culture. It was very cute, although not as outrageous as, say, Superbad.

"You have to be bad, Nicky. Be very, very bad."

"Does that movie come with tampons?"

DAYBREAKERS

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

"Fuck it, let's have a barbecue!"

The movie i saw was Daybreakers, the story about vampires having taken over the world, and they are running out of humans, and thus blood. The concept itself is interesting, but it ended up being rather cheesy.

The first inclination there would be problems was when we hear a report on TV that there had been an amnesty allowing everyone to become vampires (in the US anyway - the rest of the world doesn't seem to exist). Well, wouldn't that pose an immediate problem? Or how about when someone complains about how little blood there is in the coffee. Isn't the solution simply to get TWO cups of coffee? You also have to accept an implausibly large number of implausible coincidences.

Okay, if you don't think too hard, you might think, yeah, a vampire is immortal, so smoking is no issue. Except... can you seriously imagine vampires farming tobacco? Let alone coffee growers...

Huh, corporate boss = evil guy. Original!

THE BOOK OF ELI

Saturday, January 16th, 2010

I went to see The Book Of Eli, the latest in a series of post-apocalyptic movies (which i guess is better than apocalyptic movies, which consist of mainly dodging the apocalypse). Here, a 30 years later, a man travels west on a mission, carrying a certain book (duh) with him - when he reaches a surviving small town, its boss wants the book, because he believes it will help him expand his empire.

It was actually not bad - i liked the set up, but it lost its energy when he reached the town, and Mila Kunis' character was kind of dead weight. For one thing, i think she was too old - it's hard to believe she hasn't been 'used' by the mayor yet. The movie also dragged on too long - it should have ended with the realization of what has happened, which i admit is a couple of neat twists. It does seem to have taken an awful long time for Eli to cross the country, even on foot. Actually, for all the criticism, it is an interesting movie.

Just a little advice for those of yiu living in a post-apocalyptic world: living in a desert is tough at the best of times. If you can breathe, it means there are plants, and where you find plants, you will find plant-eaters, and where you find plant-eaters, you will find meat-eaters. Also, if you can breathe, it probably means water. Try living near a body of water. Just sayin'.

"You lay that hand on me again and you will not get it back." Not exactly 'Turn the other cheek'.

"...The remaining humans are victimized by roaming motorcycle gangs of hijackers and thieves. Each of these gangs is issued a requisite tall bald man, a short hairy scruffy one and their go-fers. WANTED: Tall bald guy to stand behind town boss and be willing to sacrifice life. All the water you can drink." Ha, ha, Ebert, you can make me laugh.

"Do more for other people than you do for yourself." Eloquently spoken! Not sure if that comes from Judges 21:10-24 or Deuteronomy 20:10-14.

THE ROAD

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

Today i saw The Road, the second post-apocalyptic movie in as many days. It's the Post-Apocalyptic Weekend.

A father and son travel south, looking for hope and a warmer climate, while trying to avoid robbers, rapist and cannibals (probably in that order). Guuuuhhhh..... depressing.

What i don't get is that there seems to be a lot of people for at least five years into post-apocalyptic environment, especially when it seems there are no animals and no plants. I tend to think there would be a lot of animals who would survive longer than humans (and what kind of weapon would kill everything except humans?). For example, there was a lot of visible grass that had gone to seed. Mice could eat that - humans could eat that. If it's not recent growth, why wouldn't it decompose? The humans do. After, being a cannibal just ain't gonna work. And if you're going to keep people locked in the basement, you'll have to feed them or they'll starve to death pretty quickly. And where do the gangbangers get their gasoline after so many years? Hmmmm.... apparently in the book, they wear masks to breathe (too much ash in the air).

Anyway, despite my grousing, it was a good movie, but not necessarily one i'd want to see again. It's haunting and chilling. Definitely better than Book Of Eli. It would make 2012 pee its pants.

"The roads are peopled by refugees towing carts and road gangs looking for fuel and food."

Okay, why do they do this in post apocalyptic movies? If the other end is broken, you'll have to go all the way back.

"There has been cannibalism. Cannibalism is the great fear."

Annoyingly, the only afternoon show started at 12:10, so no time for a leisurely lunch. After i went to Scarborough Town Centre but didn't buy anything. Oh! Before that i finally found a liquor store that had Magners, lol.

SONGS FROM THE SECOND FLOOR

Saturday, January 30th, 2010

morbidly funny, hideously beautiful...

Saturday i went to TO for the first Cinematheque of the season. The movie was Sånger Från Andra Våningen (Songs from the Second Floor). It's from the year 2000, and shows a society falling apart (given how the economy is now, it's even more appropriate than in 2000). It started slow - well, was very slow throughout. But, very funny in places, bizarre, mind-blowing. Some streets are filled with traffic that is simply going nowhere, followed by business men and women in suits, with ropes they are hitting the ground and whipping themselves with. I think part of what made it so funny was how slow and serious it was - very dry.

The funniest scene, as people drag slowly drag their all belongings to the waiting ticket counters.

The general sits on his bedpan, waiting for his 100th birthday party.

"Blessed be the one who sits down." A man has ghosts following him. Everyone already looks ghostly and gruesome, lol.

A bunch of people in suits wait for the one man to find his notes on what went wrong, as others pass around a crystal ball, until they see a house moving and panic - except for the one woman not in a suit.

"He wrote poetry till he went nuts!"

Suddenly the crowd starts singing to the background music.

"I am so embarrassed, my face is red. I staked everything on a loser."

Awaiting the human sacrifice.

I wondered why it felt so much like photographs, but it turns out each scene is shot with one take where the camera stands still as the actors perform to the frame (the camera only moves once in the entire film). Most of the interior shots were in a desaturated, grisly yellow-green.

THE YES MEN FIX THE WORLD

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

The movie i saw was The Yes Men Fix the World, the second Yes Men movie i've seen. "Troublemaking duo Andy Bichlbaum and Mike Bonanno, posing as their industrious alter-egos, expose the people profiting from Hurricane Katrina, the faces behind the environmental disaster in Bhopal, and other shocking events." It was rather uneven, as sometimes the ideas get lost behind the stunts and humour. I would like more analysis and reporting, countering the ideas they are fighting against. It was at its strongest in embarassing Dow Chemicals (successor to Union Carbide in Bhopal) and in New Orleans (but why is the public housing being dismantled?), weaker on what they were trying to prove with their human candle and bubble suit stunts.

"Turning the skeletons in your closet into golden skeletons."

MILLENNIUM MAMBO

Sunday, February 6th, 2010

The movie i saw, part of the Best of the Decade at the Cinematheque, was Millennium Mambo (Qian Xi Man Po). I've seen three movies by the same director (Flight of the Red Balloon, Three Times, Café Lumière). In fact, it was a lot like the third part of Three Times. Much of it is set in night clubs, as the lead female character tries avoid her loser boyfriend. Interestingly, it's told in retrospect, although we're not quite sure of what is going on 'now' (in fact, the frame was set a decade ahead, so we've just now reached it). Hsiao-hsien Hou's movies tend to be slow, or, more generously, 'naturally paced'. In some way it reminds me of French New wave films, but set to an electronic beat rather than 60s ya-ya music.

The people you are meeting in bars are skeezy or thugs - you need to get out.

Just drop him already, what a loser. And stop smoking so much.

PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS: THE LIGHTNING THIEF

Friday, February 12th, 2010

The movie i saw was Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. It's about a kid who discovers he's the son of a Greek god, and is accused, for no apparent reason, of stealing Zeus's lightning. Also for no apparent reason he's the only one of many demi-god kids who doesn't know who his parent is (and the rest seem all about the same age...). Meh, it was kind of corny, and can't hold a candle to Harry Potter. I knew who the thief was right away.

The hero (on right), the love interest (barely - aren't they teens?), and the sidekick...

I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP ALONE

Saturday, February 13th, 2010

The movie i saw was I Don't Want to Sleep Alone (Hei Yan Quan), a very slow, very strange movie, like the first movie of his i saw The Wayward Cloud (with the watermelon sex scenes...). A homeless man in Kuala Lumpur, beaten to a pulp, is found by a group of Bangladeshi migrant workers, cared for (lovingly!) by one of them, living in an abandoned half-built skyscraper - when he recovers, he begins chasing a local waitress, who works also helps nurse the comatose son of her (female) boss (who also makes a play for the homeless man). The comatose man is played by the same actor as the homeless man. Then there's the mysterious water, and the strange smoke that arrives in the city later in the movie. Hardly anyone ever speaks, and there's not much plot, but what you get from mood, music and gesture tells you all you need to know.

Helping a sick man pee, lol...

Ha ha, crazy sex scene, where they're interrupted by their own coughing, but just can't stop.

What will stop anger?

DEFENDOR

Saturday, February 20th, 2010

"Defender?" "De-fen-DOR!"

Yesterday, i saw Defendor, starring Woody Harrelson as a mentally slow self-proclaimed super-hero. It's billed as a comedy, although it's pretty dark one - we know he has actually mental problems, and it's not just a gag. I really enjoyed it. My biggest complaint was that the villains were pretty stereotypical. The relationship between The Defendor and the hooker relationship could have been cliche, but the actors carried it off well.

What was also interesting was that not only was it shot in Hamilton, they didn't really hide that fact (there was a radio reference to 'the Hammer', the newspaper is called The Spectator, etc).

Defendor's secret identity.

The hooker and the sleazy cop.

"There are probably better ways to deal with people like that."

Defendor and his vast array of weaponry. ("Please God, not the *lime juice*!")

Defendor and his mental assessment.

THE WOLFMAN

Wednesday, February 28th, 2010

"You've done terrible things... like this movie."

Thursday i saw The Wolfman. Uhhh... go watch Ginger Snaps instead.

"Dad, why are you acting so weird?"

Kelsey Grammer?

"You may be wondering why someone from Scotland Yard, that is, the London Police, is doing out here. Um...."

We could have had more of this, if we couldn't have decent story or character.

OSCAR NOMINATED SHORTS FILMS 2010 - ANIMATED

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Thursday was Oscar Nominated Short Films 2010 - Animation at the local Cineplex. I ordered my ticket online, just in case it sold out. As it turns out, there were only 5 (including me) in a big theatre, lol.

French Roast - which i saw in Ottawa, and like the combination of humour and irony.

Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty - funny idea, although it just kinds of stops (but at least with another joke).

The Lady and the Reaper - also fun, a tug-of-war between the reaper and a determined doctor.

A Matter of Loaf and Death - my personal fave (saw it before), starring Wallace & Gromit, although a full half hour and longer than the rest.

Runaway - (from Canada) an honorable mention (saw it before), although it's more visual gag than any story or character.

Partly Cloudy - an honorable mention (saw it before of course) - okay, between this and Wallace & Gromit

The Cinematograph - an honorable mention, a bit slow, and not sure what it wanted to say

Logorama - the eventual winner, and although i like the visual puns and ideas, story and character-wise, it didn't do it for me.

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

Alice through the polarizing glasses.

Saturday i went to the school for an open house in the late morning... although it turned out the open house isn't until the 27th, lol.

So, i went for lunch at Licks, read, and then went to see a movie. (Surprise!)

I saw the Tim Burton's sequel to Alice In Wonderland, called... Alice In Wonderland. It's somewhat odd, as Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There is the actual sequel to Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, though most adaptations merge the two together (including two different characters, the Queen of Hearts, and the Red Queen). Anyway, i was somewhat underwhelmed. Tim Burton leaves me cold, though his work is always visually interesting, and i did like Sweeney Todd. It felt like it became Narnia at the end.

And what was that bit about China at the end? It came out of nowhere (as well as being historically stupid). Ha ha: "...murky, diffuse, and meandering, set not in a Wonderland that pops with demented life but in a world called Underland that's like a joyless, bombed-out version of Wonderland." Also, i saw the 3D version, but i might have well as not. The 2D version would probably be a little brighter. I liked all the actors, especially Alice, but it's time Tim Burton left Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter alone for a while.

"You used to be much more... 'muchier.' You've lost your muchness."

Holy crap, she looks different.

SHE'S OUT OF MY LEAGUE

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

I met Russ downtown for a movie - i'd won a free pair of passes online. We saw She's Out of My League. Uh, it was kinda of mushy. It had some funny moments, it was cute. I saw Peter Howell, a reviewer for the Star there!

The spaz, the cool guy, the nice guy, the jerk-off.

"You’re a moodle, a man poodle."

GREEN ZONE

Friday, March 12th, 2010

Last Friday, i went to see Green Zone, based on positive reviews. Trailers billed it as some sort of super-soldier action movie, but it was actually much better, a political thriller set in the wake of the invasion of Iraq in 2003. Matt Damon plays the head of a team searching for WMDs, the justification for the invasion.

THE RUNAWAYS

Friday, March 19th, 2010

Friday after class i went down to Licks for some reading and then saw a movie. I saw The Runaways, which is an adaptation of the story of the 70s all-girl rock/punk band. Kristen Stewart played Joan Jett (later of Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, and who produced the movie), Dakota Fanning played Cherie Currie (who wrote the book it was loosely based on). It was actually pretty good, maybe lacking in character development, but the lead actors were all pretty good.

Oh sure, drugs can ruin your rock career, but it sure looks glamorous, lol.

Hello Daddy, hello Mom
I'm your ch ch ch ch ch cherry bomb
Hello world I'm your wild girl
I'm your ch ch ch ch ch cherry bomb

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON

Friday, March 26th, 2010

Friday, i went to see How To Train Your Dragon, which was amazing. Sometimes there are trailers that tell you everything, sometimes they are misleading, but the trailers for this said just enough, but left some nice things unseen. I enjoyed the time they took to establish the relationship between Hiccup and his dragon. What was odd was all the older Vikings having Scottish accents, lol, although i didn't mind it. The scene where Astrid gets a ride for the first time is beautiful.

"Where the food is tough and tasteless, and the people even more so."